Premarital Counseling in Littleton Colorado and South Denver
Are you and your partner getting ready to tie the knot and are wanting to give your marriage the best chance of success? Are you wanting to give yourselves the best chance of growing old together instead of growing apart? You both know you love each other deeply, and want help in identifying and preventing potential future issues between the two of you before they happen? Have things been really good between the two of you and you want to make sure to keep it that way for the long-term?
I'm going to tell you something that you may or may not find surprising: No one begins a committed relationship expecting it to fail. People start with love and optimism. The problem isn't intent; it's that most people don't understand how relationships deteriorate over time. Relationships don't fall apart overnight. They erode slowly, predictably, and often without either partner realizing it's happening.
Every single person that has a significant other has a much greater impact on that person with things they say and do than they realize. The truth is that people will do things that are detrimental to the long-term health and safety of their relationship and don't even know it.
Just as importantly, they will do things that they believe are good for the relationship by following conventional relationship advice, only for those things not to work.
Relationships don't fall apart overnight. They erode slowly, predictably, and often without either partner realizing it's happening.
Which means that they will not be doing the things in relationships that do work. Then it will be blamed on a “lack of compatibility”. This may come off as surprising, but long-term relationship breakdown is not caused by a lack of love, compatibility, or commitment. It's caused by the erosion of safety between partners.
This is how two people that once clearly loved each other can get to the point where they no longer want anything to do with one another.
Relationship safety will naturally deteriorate slowly but surely, and most importantly, predictably, if relationship safety is not consistently being taken into account deliberately and intentionally. And if it's predictable, then it is preventable. The key for every relationship then becomes having each partner taking responsibility for the emotional environment they create for the other in ways that are meaningful specifically to their partner.
Ask any couple with significant problems and they will tell you that things didn't become that way overnight.
If it's predictable, then it is preventable.
As someone that has worked with couples since 2011, I can tell you it is much easier (and cheaper) to prevent relationship issues than it is to try to fix or repair them.
One thing I can promise you will never hear from me is that you and your partner are not compatible. Remember that safety in a relationship is relative to the two people in it, so if you're wanting your relationship and marriage to thrive over the long-term, regardless of what life throws at you, it's never too early to come see me. I am Prepare/Enrich certified and I use that as one of the tools to help us go over where the potential future issues are and what safety looks like for your specific relationship.
It is much easier (and cheaper) to prevent relationship issues than it is to try to fix or repair them.
What premarital counseling actually looks like
Most couples who come in for premarital counseling aren't worried about their relationship. Things are good. They just want to give it every advantage they can — and that instinct is exactly right.
Using the Prepare/Enrich assessment as a starting point, we identify the specific areas where your relationship already has strength, and the areas where small, unaddressed patterns could become bigger issues over time. This isn't about manufacturing problems. It's about getting ahead of the ones that are statistically likely to surface in any long-term relationship.
Topics we typically cover include how each of you handles conflict, what emotional safety looks like for each partner specifically, expectations around finances, family, roles, and how you each react under stress. None of this is abstract — we ground it in your actual relationship and the patterns that are already present, even if they're subtle.
If somewhere down the road you find yourselves in a rough patch, the foundation you built here makes a real difference. And if things are ever difficult in ways you didn't anticipate, couples counseling is always available. But the goal of premarital work is to make that a lot less likely.
Most couples who come in for premarital counseling aren't worried about their relationship. They just want to give it every advantage they can.
In-person couples therapy in Littleton, Colorado, serving Highlands Ranch, Ken Caryl, Roxborough Park, Centennial, Lone Tree, Parker, and South Denver.
Virtual services across Colorado and Texas.